YEARS AGO, WHEN I FIRST STARTED working in collaborative communication, I spent a lot of time worrying about my endgame. When I sat down to do a mediation, I thought I should know at the outset exactly how the conflict would be resolved. When I...
For many, spending time with relatives over the holidays may be challenging. In addition to the love and care we may feel, family gatherings can bring up old hurts or expose painful differences. How many family meals have been marred by tense silence or devolved...
Since the other name for Nonviolent Communication is Compassionate Communication, just what do we mean by compassion? For me, as a “word nerd” (translate: delighted when learning word origins, loving to understand), I wanted to uncover the original meaning of “compassion.” It turns out to be...
I spent the first 39 years of my life as a cultural and ethnic Jew, but not a religious one. I knew the people well, but not the religion. When I uprooted from California and moved to Florida almost two years ago, that changed. I sought...
Listening is a cornerstone of dialogue and a powerful metaphor for spiritual practice. When we’re willing and able to listen, we open a conduit that allows connection and understanding to happen. There are so many ways to listen. We can listen to the content of what...
Have you ever gotten really angry about something and realized later that the trigger was quite trivial? Have you, in hindsight, asked yourself this question: “Why did that bother me so much, so fast?” Andre Igoudala, basketball player for the Golden State Warriors, was once hit...
FOR MY SOMETIMES SKEPTICAL clients and students: Two stories to prove that yes, Nonviolent Communication works in real life. While we probably won’t use NVC’s formal language (“Are you feeling sad, because you need support?”), as we select our own words, we can still embody...
Using Nonviolent Communication to Answer Dr. King’s Call for Social Change How can nonviolent communication help us return to the powerful vision of social change for which Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. so strongly advocated and for which he died? How can we inspire ourselves to...
I’ve been thinking about expectations lately, hearing how often a statement that begins, “I expected...
Where were you born? Q: I just started a new job. When I asked a coworker of Asian descent where they were born, they glared at me and said that was a microaggression. I was just trying to break the ice and don’t understand why they...
Does Nonviolent Communication work when you’re at work? This is a question I’ve been exploring for the last 11 years. I very much enjoy visiting corporations and other organizations as a trainer, and also as a coach. I’ve coached people at every level of organizational hierarchy...
I was originally going to share with you a piece I’ve published here entitled the Skill of Love, about our beautiful capacity as humans to develop the qualities of care and good will. Given Valentines Day's heart-rending school shooting, it would feel out of step...