Rebuilding Trust

A question I’ve often been asked is “How do we rebuild damaged trust?” Usually this is being asked in connection with an intimate relationship, but sometimes it’s within friendships, professional relationships, or other familial relationships. I don’t imagine there’s a recipe for rebuilding trust that works

Slowing Down and Enriching Life

The practice of slowing down can be experienced as a gift for anyone who can master this discipline. So many times we may be so busy that we can forget to unwrap this gift and focus on what is most important to us. We may

Welcoming the inner creatures!

At NVC retreats and workshops where participants are invited to read out a poem that somehow supports their living of NVC, I’ve always enjoyed it when this one shows up: The Guest House by Jelaluddin Rumi This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy,

Opening as One Door Closes

I have been following a trajectory of opening over 23 years with Voice of Hope and then with the next iteration, BayNVC. I have no illusions about nor desire for “staying open.” Rather I experience this movement as increasing ease with oscillating between closing and

None of this is easy.

I just sent one of my closest friends a text. She, along with all of us, is having a tough time. I ended the text with a quote that is often on my mind: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in

Sounds like you’re saying I’m wrong…

Message from a workshop participant: I understand the idea of not judging someone’s choice of words or their actions. I understand that the goal is to simply inform the person how their choice of words or actions may impact me. I can inform the other person that

Choice vs. Submission or Rebellion

“Never give any system the power over you to rebel or submit.” — Marshall Rosenberg  When an entity, system or individual has authority or power and mandates something we do not agree with we appear to have only two choices: to submit or to rebel. If we

The Head & the Heart

MANY YEARS AGO, I was taking a sociology course and we received an odd assignment: At some point in the coming week, during an otherwise routine conversation, we were instructed to do or say something unfamiliar—something outside our comfort zone—and then report back on the

The Complexity of Apologies

“I said I’m sorry! What else could you possibly want?” Well. Let me tell you… kinda a lot. In my work as a coach, organizational consultant and trainer it hasn’t taken long to see repeat patterns in human relationships. It doesn't matter if it’s a romantic partnership,

About Privilege…

Privilege. I am privileged to meet you. That is a privilege. You have privilege. You are privileged. You are acting from privilege. One word - so many meanings, so many ways of using it. In the NVC community, this word has sparked years of ongoing debate. I share my current thoughts

W.A.I.T before you speak or hit “Send”

It can be tricky to give examples of “effective workplace communication,” but let’s start with something we know… We know that we can speak or send words to a co-worker, or group of co-workers, that lead to disconnection, conflict, diminished trust and reduced workplace productivity. This

Noticing the Good: Expressing Appreciation

DURING THIS TIME OF PANDEMIC, it’s so easy to let one day merge into the next, without celebrating our accomplishments or mourning our losses. We’re stressed, we’re exhausted, we’re frustrated and anxious. We long for the ease and comfort of pre-COVID life, which seems very