Choice vs. Submission or Rebellion

“Never give any system the power over you to rebel or submit.” — Marshall Rosenberg  When an entity, system or individual has authority or power and mandates something we do not agree with we appear to have only two choices: to submit or to rebel. If we

The Head & the Heart

  MANY YEARS AGO, I was taking a sociology course and we received an odd assignment: At some point in the coming week, during an otherwise routine conversation, we were instructed to do or say something unfamiliar—something outside our comfort zone—and then report back on the

The Complexity of Apologies

“I said I’m sorry! What else could you possibly want?” Well. Let me tell you… kinda a lot. In my work as a coach, organizational consultant and trainer it hasn’t taken long to see repeat patterns in human relationships. It doesn't matter if it’s a romantic partnership,

About Privilege…

Privilege. I am privileged to meet you. That is a privilege. You have privilege. You are privileged. You are acting from privilege. One word - so many meanings, so many ways of using it. In the NVC community, this word has sparked years of ongoing debate. I share my current thoughts

W.A.I.T before you speak or hit “Send”

It can be tricky to give examples of “effective workplace communication,” but let’s start with something we know… We know that we can speak or send words to a co-worker, or group of co-workers, that lead to disconnection, conflict, diminished trust and reduced workplace productivity. This

Noticing the Good: Expressing Appreciation

DURING THIS TIME OF PANDEMIC, it’s so easy to let one day merge into the next, without celebrating our accomplishments or mourning our losses. We’re stressed, we’re exhausted, we’re frustrated and anxious. We long for the ease and comfort of pre-COVID life, which seems very

A Needs-Centered Approach to Life

From a young age, I was taught that all human beings were selfish from birth. This was instilled in me as a boy and later as an adult. This theory of human nature seemed to explain why there was so much violence and evil in

Been trying to decolonize lately? Me too.

My colleagues and I are just about to complete the last week co-facilitating an 8-week series with POC4NVC on Nonviolent Communication (NVC) for Black Indigenous People of Color (BIPOC). In a debriefing session this week I asked the question: What’s the difference between holding a

The Gift of Practical Hope

When I step back, I still find it hard to believe how intense the last year has been. What an immense range of challenges we as a society and individuals have faced. With spring weather and the increased availability of vaccines in parts of the world,

Finding Meaning in Tragedy

     "Be patient towards all that is unresolved in your heart and learn to love the questions themselves." – Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet Sometimes we may not understand why certain things occur in our lives. Whether we are experiencing tragedy, loss, or

Don’t Call Me White!

QUESTION: How do we address/what can we do to address the language and logic of micro-aggressions being appropriated by members of the dominant class, for example white folks talking about receiving micro-aggressions from (legitimately) angry or insistent POC? The question above asked by a participant in

Has NVC given you any new enemies?

In his book entitled Speak Peace in a World of Conflict, Marshall Rosenberg writes: “we need to liberate ourselves from enemy images - the thinking that says there is something wrong with the people whose actions or values we don’t agree with.” In a similar vein, he also