June 18, 2017
When NVC Backfires
When I first learned about the concept of needs at a local communication workshop in my early 20s, I was astounded. I remember thinking, “Oh my gosh -- I have needs!” However, my ensuing attempts to use NVC with family and friends didn’t always go...
May 23, 2017
Tips for these uncertain times
The events that have unfolded since the election continue to stimulate a huge amount of fear in me and those around me. I’ve had many sleepless nights since November, stemming from my children wondering if Trump’s election meant half the country did not like people...
April 19, 2017
Giraffe Juice: The Necessity of Joy
A workshop participant once asked Marshall Rosenberg, “There’s so much pain and suffering in the world. Where do you find the energy to keep traveling and teaching?” In response, Marshall said with a characteristically wry smile, “It’s the ‘Giraffe juice’ that keeps me going.” You probably...
March 24, 2017
The Gift That Keeps On Giving: Trigger Translation Journal
In 2006, I was introduced by Jane Connor to a practice which Marshall Rosenberg used, and I witnessed him use it through the years I knew him. He kept a 3”x 6” index card folded in half in his pocket, and “he would pull it...
February 21, 2017
NVC schools: Is this a thing, or a movement?
Marshall Rosenberg began talking about “NVC schools” (aka “giraffe schools”) many years ago, and ever since, people have been asking us, “So, where ARE these NVC schools?” We pause for a deep breath. Because, honestly, we don’t know. We don’t know of any such thing as an...
January 25, 2017
Reclaiming Your No
This message is for those of you who struggle with a two-letter word: “No.” I’ve been in the Just-Trying-to-Say-No club most of my life. I know all too well the challenges of mustering a “no” from these lips when my pulse is rising, my chest contracting, and...
December 27, 2016
Switching on NVC
“I love NVC but I always forget to use it in the moments when I most need it.” Over the years I’ve heard variations on this statement from many workshop and practice group participants. A related question I frequently hear is “How do you stay calm...
October 24, 2016
NVC, Me, and the Election
Dear Friends, Like so many of you, I’m stirred up about this election. I have felt anxious, afraid, sad, hurt. I have been seeking sources of guidance wherever I can. As a Jew, I look to Judaism, particularly what I take as its central message: love...
September 23, 2016
Community-Informed Process to Create a BayNVC Ethics Policy
Short version BayNVC is beginning a process of creating an ethics policy for our trainers, facilitators, and coaches. We want to find ways of supporting clarity for ourselves and those we serve about how to engage in relationships that support all involved, recognizing that we are...
August 31, 2016
The Morning of Mourning: On Orlando’s attack and being Muslim
by Azzam Talhami, Guest Journalist and BayNVC Intern The Sunday morning of the mass shooting in Orlando, I woke up in my apartment in Berkeley, California, and began my ritual prayers in ancient Arabic. I hadn’t yet read the news. I heard the melodies of the...
August 2, 2016
Thoughts on Making, Keeping & Changing Agreements with Care
Thoughts on Making, Keeping & Changing Agreements with Care PRINCIPLE: HOLD EVERYONE’S NEEDS WITH CARE This principle can be a beacon to co-creating meaningful and satisfying agreements. I take it to mean being willing to dig inside to discover what your needs may be in the situation....