Performance Reviews: Judgments or Collaborating?

Shelter in Place orders pressed a pause button on many businesses, not just their internal operating structures, but also for many, functioning came to a full stop. The coronavirus safety protocols are easing and many businesses are starting up again, some in limited ways and

Pivoting for Connection in Prison

Meeting the needs of NVC Students in PrisonGive today! I really like how needs for purpose and meaning are deeply met by my work with BayNVC's social justice project, Safer Communities. The project brings NVC skills and consciousness to people whose lives have diverted into incarceration. Since

Lonely Together

Do you find yourself struggling in your intimate relationship now that you’re spending a lot of time together? One surprising experience people have reported is that the extra time together leaves them feeling more lonely, not less! How could that be? Imagine this. You’re in the

Grief – It’s Not Just For Death

There is so much information out on the internet right now on ways we can adapt, evolve, and innovate with each other in our new realities. A dear friend of mine exclaimed she has connection overload! And me, well, I'm personally tired of everyone telling

How do we show up when it matters?

Over the last weeks as urgency has grown around COVID-19, I keep finding myself thinking of a particular day in high school. I was 15 years old and a sophomore. I wasn’t terribly confident, but I was social and liked well-enough. I had friends across

Beyond Praise: Expressing Gratitude

There seems to be a widespread assumption that praise is always a good thing. It is not uncommon for teachers to be told to praise a child every day. Some are even evaluated on how close they come to this standard. Many books on parenting

Parenting for Connection

When I was a boy I received a King Kong action figure for my birthday. At that time I really liked King Kong and this gift was very special. While playing with my toy I soon found out that my little brother (around 3 years

Viewing Needs through an Equity Lens

At a retreat, I supported a conversation between two men who had experienced a break in connection. One man of Chinese and European descent – let’s call him Chris - shared the pain he experienced growing up in a primarily European community. He shared the

Don’t Believe Everything You Think!

  When we speak with one another in English, we have a remarkable tendency to use the word “feel” to describe what are actually our thoughts. For example, have you ever said something like: “I feel like you did that on purpose!” or “I feel I’m a

Four Questions to Ask Yourself Before Speaking

There is a saying in many spiritual traditions, “Only speak if you can improve upon the silence.” Personally, there are plenty of times when I’d rather simply be quiet. There’s also a time and a place to speak up—when we need to set limits, seek

3 Things Motherhood Has Taught Me About NVC

Eight months ago my husband and I welcomed an adorable baby boy whom we named Sol. Transitioning into parenthood has been a whirlwind -- lots of changes and novelty as we navigate this new territory. There has been a lot of learning about life, our