Oct. 21-22 (2-day, Sat/Sun)
10 am – 5 pm
Tickets $360 (plus admin fee from Eventbrite).
Note: We encourage you to register soon to ensure your space. When this class has reached its capacity, we will begin a waiting list. After registering you will receive a confirmation email with parking and public transit information.
“I gained so many insights about myself and learned many skills on how to connect with people better. Now I have the wisdom and tools to achieve what my heart truly desires – connection. Thanks for the gifts, Newt.”
– Workshop Participant, June 2016, San Francisco
PLAY * SPONTANEITY * IMMERSION IN NEEDS CONSCIOUSNESS
* BRINGING THE WISDOM YOU ALREADY HAVE INTO YOUR COMMUNICATION *
A lot of words get spoken in an automatic stream of defensiveness, counter-attack, anger and disconnection. We long for meaningful, harmonious relationships at home and smooth, productive relationships at work – but lack the skills, confidence or will power to make those things happen.
Every conflict provides opportunities to connect, to understand, to collaborate, but those opportunities so often get habitually and repeatedly missed. Communication habits from childhood run on automatic pilot. We rationalize, blame the other person, or throw up our hands in despair. A glaring fact is missed: if I am the common factor in all of my personal and professional relationships, then I can take action to improve all of those relationships, and that action starts with how I communicate.
When operating a vehicle most of us are vigilant and attentive because we know the risks involved. We took lessons on how to drive and we had to pass a test to be legally allowed to.
However, we often don’t bring the same vigilance or attentiveness to our relationships that we bring to driving a vehicle, and in most cases we certainly did no lessons or tests on how to “operate” within our relationships.
The results of this are all around us – 50% of marriages in the USA end in divorce, often at great financial and emotional cost to the families involved, including an ongoing “cold war” between divorced parents. Many other couples stay together in spite of increasing friction and conflict, and decreasing trust, friendship, and intimacy. Meanwhile, at work, hundreds of billions of dollars are lost from the US economy annually due to conflict.
Fortunately, a growing number of people are realizing that communication skills are real, life changing, and can be learned. That’s what we’re going to be doing at the Communication Dojo 2-day intensive in Los Angeles.
Whether you’re already a student of Nonviolent Communication or not, we all know that during moments of anger, upset, sadness, fear or frustration there’s a much increased chance of us falling into familiar ineffective communication habits. I’m talking here about the habits of blame, judgment, criticism, demands, threats, wrong/right thinking, shoulds, arguments and fights. I’m talking about communication that leads to disconnection and conflict – communication that takes your time and energy but does not give much in return. Lots of “sound and fury” (to quote Shakespeare) but not much of value for you or the other person.
Your body probably tries to give you instant feedback when this happens – even before you get to the bigger signals like hot face, tight stomach, tensed muscles, increasing loudness of speech. Would you like to increase your ability to pay greater attention to yourself in these moments – to create a pause in which you can choose more effective communication choices? And would you like to learn what these communication choices are?
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. — Viktor Frankl, Neurologist & Psychiatrist
Over the course of this 2-day intensive you’ll get the chance to do just that – and to start connecting with other people in your area who are also interested in transforming how they communicate. The quality of your life is largely governed by the quality of your relationships, and the quality of your relationships is largely governed by the quality of your communication – transform your communication and you transform your life!
- Connection – What does it mean to be in connection, even if you don’t like what another person is saying or doing?
- Kindness and Authenticity – “Honesty without compassion is cruelty” – Connection arises from a balance of kindness and authenticity.
- Understanding what’s motivating us to do and say what we do and say.
- Emotions explained – what are your feelings, including anger, trying to tell you?
- The skill of Self-Connection – you can only communicate what’s going on with you if you know what’s going on with you
- The ways we create disconnection and conflict
- The ways we create connection, and resolve conflict
- Getting “Connected Communication” in your bones so you’re more likely to reach for the communication tools you need when you most need them
- Opening up the space to choose how you speak
- Speaking from the heart – the “Communication IQ”
- Empathic listening – the active practice of seeking to understand before responding
- Anger management vs Getting the message of anger
- Fact or Opinion – Telling the truth means using language of Observation and Ownership
- Asking for what you want, and the risk of hearing “No”
- Transforming Enemy Images – if you view someone else as your enemy, they tend to live up to your expectations
- Self-criticism and the connection to external conflict – and what to do about it.
- How to create new habits and practices. Next steps
Some features of the Communication Dojo:
As soon as you concern yourself with the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ of your fellows, you create an opening in your heart for maliciousness to enter. Testing, competing with, and criticizing others weaken and defeat you.— Morihei Ueshiba, Founder of Aikido
*Efficient use of class time to maximize learning
*High proportion of practice time in pairs – learning communication by communicating.
*Minimal reliance on “jargon” i.e. language that might be confusing or alienating for those not familiar with NVC.
*Little likelihood of people developing any sense of “Doing it wrong” or “Trying to do it right.”
Who’s it for?
Experienced with NVC? – Do you sometimes find that your attempts to use NVC do not lead to the connection you want? Perhaps they even lead to greater disconnection? Or are you looking for a different kind of NVC learning environment for friends, family members, or colleagues you really want to introduce to the power and potential of NVC.
New to NVC? – Come try out the Communication Dojo. You’ll find that whatever your current approach to communication, you can start from that point and expand your range of options from there at a rate that suits you.
About Newt Bailey
Newt’s passion is to help people connect, to experience greater intimacy, and to find the potential for mutually satisfying change that lies within conflict.
Since he started studying NVC in 2005 Newt has set out to understand and share with others the essential core of NVC. He believes strongly in teaching the principles of NVC in a way that frees students from specialized language, and allows facility with connected communication to grow in small, quickly assimilated steps. The Communication Dojo workshops are both a place where Newt teaches the NVC practices and skills he uses in his own life, and also a place where Newt introduces his newest teaching tools, resources and ideas.
Since 2006 Newt has been facilitating NVC groups, leading workshops and retreats, and developing his unique approach in public and organizational settings. Newt also attributes great steps in his personal understanding of NVC to working with prisoners and parolees. He has taught NVC, NVC mediation and NVC coaching across the USA and in Europe.
Antioch University Los Angeles campus.
400 Corporate Pointe, Culver City, CA 90230