The Power of Presence

Of all the various things one might learn in this modern age of information, getting a handle on our communication can be one of the most rewarding and potentially transformative. Why? For two simple reasons: it is our primary medium for interfacing with other human...

Being Heard Can Make All the Difference

When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good. . . . When I have been listened to and when I have been heard, I am able to...

Not Business as Usual: Empathy Enters the Workplace

Paul Levy, director of Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, is trying something revolutionary, radical, maybe even impossible: He is trying to convince the people who work for him that the E in CEO can sometimes stand for empathy.  The Boston Globe "Empathy" and ˜meaning"...

The Sweetest Game in Town: Contributing Without Praise

Q: I have always tried to encourage my children in their development through praise of certain behaviors, though I don't believe in praise or criticism of the person. For instance: "I notice you are doing a great job being patient, or generous, etc." Or: "Thank...

Vulnerability as a Spiritual Path

Real fearlessness is the product of tenderness. It comes from letting the world tickle your heart, your raw and beautiful heart. You are willing to open up, without resistance or shyness, and face the world. You are willing to share your heart with others. Chogyam...

Self-Acceptance without Limits

Here's a paradox. On the one hand, self-acceptance provides a clear foundation for integrating the practice and especially the consciousness of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). On the other hand, people who want to embrace this practice are, like so many people in the culture at large,...

Feedback without Criticism

I have yet to meet a person who likes criticism. Instead, what most of us do is contract inside when we hear a criticism. Sometimes we respond defensively, sometimes we add the criticism to our pile of self-judgment, and sometimes we deflect and ignore what's...

The Heart of Our Yes

Have you ever experienced an immediate "no" when being asked to do or give something? In my experience, that "no" is usually reactive and disconnected, not a genuine response that comes from connection and from holding all the needs in front of me. I have pondered...